Ten Commandments for Living with a Person who is Hard of Hearing

If you live with someone who has a hearing loss, you know they are not the only ones affected by it—you are too! It can be frustrating for everyone involved but these ten tips may help make things easier, make everyone a little happier, and make communication better than it has been in a long time.

  1. Be Patient. Remember that a person who is beginning to suffer hearing loss is like a child beginning to talk, listen, and understand. All conditions of communication are changing.

  2. Accept Reality. It changes both of your lives and introduces new elements in your relationship. It isn't going to go away. Try to remember that just because your loved one has a hearing loss, it doesn’t change who they are. They are still the same person you have loved for so long.

  3. Speak Slowly. Consider what it's like for you when you listen to a newscaster on television who rushes through lines, especially when statistics are being quoted. You have to really concentrate to hear what’s being said. Now imagine doing that all the time, instead of just a few minutes occasionally.

  4. Don't Shout. It doesn't help, and may give the impression that you are angry. Learn to speak distinctly. Careful enunciation is a useful habit to cultivate anyway.

  5. Understand Difficult Listening Situations. There is a famous line in a Broadway play "You Know I Can't Hear When The Water's Running." Adapt it to include, while the television is on, when the washing machine or the dishwasher is running, or when someone in the room is carrying on an animated conversation on the telephone. People with hearing loss find it hard to block out sounds while they are straining to hear your words.

  6. Don't Talk With Your Back to the Person with a Hearing Loss. Even if they can't read your lips accurately when you face them, they will get a better sense of what you are saying.

  7. Don't Walk Away While You Are Still Talking. Your words will get cut off and come across as "I'm going to see if ..." Frustrating, isn't it?

  8. Agree on a Signal When He or She Is Talking Too Loud. People with hearing loss often cannot hear their own voices well enough to judge their loudness, so in a situation where you are around company, it helps to discreetly let them know they are speaking too loudly.

  9. Have a Heart. Though you may be frustrated, hearing loss is worse for the afflicted person than for anyone else. Consider that you may also have to learn to live with your own hearing loss someday. That's one of the prices we pay in this century for living beyond the biblical three score and ten.

  10. Don't Show Annoyance. Even if you have to repeat yourself or because the hard of hearing person seems to have forgotten something you said a few moments ago, be patient and know they probably did not hear you the first time.